Lost and mired in emotions best left untouchedBeing here in Aussie land for two weeks has been … both eventful and uneventful. I can only hope that when I finally come over that I don’t find myself on the drowning end of the pool. And I am afraid of drowning.
If I were alone and with no one trying to tell me what to do, I wouldn’t have half the headache that I am having now.
Been a lot of reading since the holidays started dearest. Good and bad. Good is I get to indulge. Bad because it makes me lazy and makes me think too much. Words are important. They matter. They make you think. They make you dream. They make you sad.
I’ve taken to reading fantasy again. This time around I’m reading Mercedes Lackey. Yes, I’m continuing the Valdemar stories. Fascinating and amazing. I’m drawn into her world by her imagination and her words. Yes, words again. I would say it makes one poignantly aware. I am in danger of being ensnared into the imagery that words weave and paint, it may be my downfall, me, this woman born under a deep and unfathomable zodiac, known to dwell on things that capture her innate perception and inquisitive senses and constant questioning of the meaning of life and the world surrounding her. And since I am at my cousin’s house, I have gone to rereading the Dungeon and Dragon’s stories again. And drawn doubly deeper into the world of fantasy profound. I am however frustrated that there isn’t much access to her entire works unless I venture into intense book buying at Kinokuniya, but, even the World Book Store does not stock everything. But wonder of wonders, I’ve found a way to get a copy of Valdermar’s songs! Online! But of course I would hv to pay with credit card. (Remind me never to apply for a credit card here in Australia!) To buy or not to buy…
I have also finally read Anne Rice’s Interview with a Vampire. Oh so sad… I wanted to cry but found no tears or voice to shed any emotion inside. I am now driven to read the rest of the vampire series. Ah, this one is easy to rent at home. And I’ve also found Alice Borchadt’s The Wolf King here sold at a cheap price of $3 dollars, so when I go back, I will buy the first two books, The Silver Wolf and something-which-title-I’ve-forgotten. That one unfortunately has to be bought at Kinokuniya. Sigh, there goes my money. Actually, now that I come to think of it, books are my eventual downfall. Sigh….
It’s midnight but I cannot bring myself to go bed. I’m in a state of sorts but hard to describe. Like I said, words are important. I must learn restraint whenever I read. It’s too powerful… I feel like a moth drawn to the flame of the candle and though I know I will be singed, I must carry forward.
I am sad. So sad I fear that I will carry the emotion on my sleeve for everyone to see. Sigh… but it cannot be helped. I must carry on.