White night II
Had another white night. For no apparent reason. And when I have white nights, I’m compelled to think about the day’s happenings and about my life as it stands.And I try not to.
Nothing wanders as much as the mind in the dead of the night when all is silent and still and all is seemingly well throughout the world.
How deceiving.
Who deludes themselves that all is well, when somewhere out there, someone is crying over the loss of a loved one, a beloved pet; when someone out there is agonizing over the uncertainty of a career, a marriage, a housing loan; when war is waged on innocent children, men and women; when countless others waged a different war of a more bio-neural inside them and are helpless to win; when there is misunderstanding between family, relatives, colleagues, races.
Then my mind wanders to having to work the next day. And remember the sweet days when I was teaching and the year end semester breaks of three months were truly idyllic days of reading, DVDs and chatting. And I yearn to go back to teaching.
Then I think of how too young it is to teach full time and that I must do more with my life. A career of the heart. That does not bring me down, despite difficulties. I have it. But I need time…
How do I achieve this? I start thinking.
Then I turn towards the list of things to do in preparation for my migration. Oh, so many.
And there’s that huge gathering I’m planning of us Murdoch graduates… I must email everyone to tell them to block out one night on this occasion. If anyone doesn’t or says they weren’t informed ahead of time, I’ll kill them.
I already started sourcing for a good location… but still have to run through with my best friend A., who always said that I do good organizing this kind of thing.
So does that mean I can find a good career in event organizing? Food for thought.
Oh shit... if I invite them all, what about Sh and J? They had a difficult break up... should I cut one out? Or just see if one comes and one doesn't, or both won't come? Shit.... what to do, what to do?
And then I fell asleep. But I didn’t want to wake up as usual.
Story of my life…
posted by Jennirhiow @ 1:16 pm
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