Shaken
My brother just had a fits attack this evening in my car after picking him up from work. I had just said that we would buy dinner back home, but when he didn’t reply, I turned to him, and he was just going into the throes of spasms.I have not seen him in a fit attack since 2000, because I was away at uni in Australia, and because I wasn’t home the last time it happened in 2002. I nearly panicked when I saw him having a fit attack today.
Luckily the lights had turned red and so I could keep an eye on him while it happened. When he made those air-sucking noises I began to have doubts and fears. Please, Lord, let it be over soon. Then his head shook with the spasms. Please, Lord, don’t let him bite his tongue.
As the lights changed to green, it subsided. Thank you, Lord.
He looked tired. I told him to recline the chair and to rest. Past experience would have him sleeping soon after the attack. But he didn’t sleep this time. Just closed his eyes.
As I drove home my heart was heavy and full. What does this mean? We were just talking about it last weekend and I was just telling A. that I needed to stay at her place to get him accustomed to me being away and he has an attack today. Lord, what are you trying to say?
My heart is heavy. I feel like bursting, I feel like crying. But I know I couldn’t show him how affected I was. We had to show by example that having a fit attack was not a shameful thing. He still feels ashamed of it.
And I am still feeling as shaken as if it were the first time it happened and I was the one to witness it all those years ago.
posted by Jennirhiow @ 1:17 am
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