Just call me Mary-Anne
I’ve always wanted a simple life.A simple life with wonderful family, supportive friends, good career with a loving to come home to and to cuddle on thunderstorm nights.
However, my life is boring. But it doesn’t mean it’s simple. I have a difficult mother to deal with, a selectively perceptive (purposely ignorant) father, and an autistic brother. I have wonderful friends who are busy, equally screwed-up and with better lives than me. I have a substantial career but with me wanting to migrate I don’t know where or how I’ll end up. To summarise, I don’t have anyone special in my life.
But these few days I’ve been a regular Mary-Anne.
For the overseas people, Mary-Anne came from a famous Hong Kong drama serial that had a maid working for the protagonist family.
Mary-Anne was the live-in maid from Philippines for this family in the drama series, whose name I have forgotten. She was street-wise, clever, hardworking and funny-funny. Basically she was quite a person to have handy to run errands and help get her charges out of scrapes. But she too got into scrapes! Ever since this show my family has a standing joke about being servants around the house and so handily calls any family member Mary-Anne to get a drink or get something done. So since my mom was in Singapore I was her Mary-Anne for the past few days. Just before she left she gave me a list of things to do in her absence, which included taking her car for servicing and collecting items from shops. Which made me late for work this morning cos it was freaking jam.
Having said all that I realise that it’s not right to say things like this. Life is life and what you make of it is your life. There is no way to compare it with other people’s lives. What they have may not be what you really want. What you have may not be something they would want.
Well, they certainly shouldn’t want to want what you have! They gotta be stupid. Says my Bad Self.
You have lots of good things! Don’t be ungrateful. Says my Good Self.
Hey! She didn’t ask to be born with the family she has.
God gave her those things for a reason. If anything, it has made her stronger than any other normal people. At least she’s alive and kicking and didn’t succeed in buying it.
Can the two of you shut up enough for me to think?!!
No!
I have too many voices in my head. They go circling around sniping at each other at times, and sometimes they keep quiet at crucial times when I need some push or guidance at crossroads.
Sometimes I wake up wanting to be a much more happening person who goes parties every night and shops every weekend like crazy. But then I know it’s not going to happen.
Sometimes I wake up wanting to be that calm, serene lady who has seen and experience some things to know better than to want a tumulous life.
I should know better. I should take what I am giving and make the bad work in my favour. And I should give thanks for the good, for not many people are lucky to have the good that I have.
So it boils down to what good do I have?
For this I will need time to look upon and to consolidate.
Mary-Anne was a simple gurl too. All she wanted was a good family to work and live with, good friends and a good man.
Which reminds me, I have to cancel the hotel booking for my mom. And make dinner reservations at the restaurant for a family dinner tonight (cos she and my aunt are coming back from Singapore today). And remember to pick up another package for my mom at this herbal shop.
Yes, just call me Mary-Anne today.
posted by Jennirhiow @ 3:23 pm
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