Deepavali migraine
First saw, or rather, couldn’t see, the first vestiges of incoming migraine. Quickly boiled hot water for a peppermint tea to stave off some measure of the pain. Not that it would have helped a lot, but at least something.Funny how it is during these moments that one is vulnerable, is painfully aware of the loneliness. How one is suddenly inundated with emotion, and suddenly weeps in despair, that the tears just flows like a faulty tap. And no matter how much you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, the tears still come.
Now I think of Ronan and his endless lying in the ocean. ‘Hush and lonely.’ Think of his endless years of living, waiting; ‘No hope and no heart.’ How the centuries flow into one another. People come, people go. Yet he remains. And the tears flow ever more. How I know how he feels.
Even now as the tears refuse to stop, I recall someone, perhaps it was a gurlfriend, or maybe I overheard a stranger, say, “Even if I never find a partner, I will want a child to love and who will love me. Perhaps it is so that I will know some form of love at least.”
Indeed that sentiment had me thinking that it wasn’t such a bad notion.
And still the tears come.
Let me try to sleep off this migraine now. Wouldn’t be the first time I sleep with tears.
posted by Jennirhiow @ 3:30 pm
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