Marriages are not easy
Personally I don’t hold much faith in marriages. If I do find someone to have a meaningful relationship with, it’ll have to be cohabitation. If the subject of marriage is broached, I’ll be the one to hedge, not him. And I suspect that if he wants a deeper commitment than just cohabitation, I’ll be the one to say that I’m not ready or willing to commit.Where did this feeling come from? Well, as they say, charity begins at home, so it all comes from the home.
Hearing the news that Pitt and Aniston has split up is both not a surprise and one. When they got married, I wasn’t very enthusiastic. While my Pitt fan frens were excited, I was skeptical. But I’m amazed that they survived 5 years actually…
Demi Moore and Bruce Willis was at one time my couple idol. Then they split.
Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke was also one of them. Then they split.
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise was another favourite. But they split.
It’s sad to see this happening. I pity the children.
But let’s not look so far away. Look closer.
My own parents. Three months after the marriage my mother wanted out. But she only got the divorce when I was 17 cos she wanted to spare us the children. And yet, I am still caught in between.
My favourite aunt and uncle in Melbourne. According to my aunt, my uncle is a less than desirable marriage partner. According to my mom, there was a lot of unhappiness between my aunt and her in-laws family.
My uncle (mom’s second youngest brother) and the wife who is now living in Hong Kong. They broke up and now my cousin is a screwed up case that even my uncle washed his hands off. He has remarried and has two children by the second wife, but I hear that he is afraid of the wife because of his mistake with the first, and the wife is a bit of a pecker.
My youngest uncle and the wife that refuses to allow him to communicate with his family openly. He sneaks around when he meets my mom. He uses the time in between his job and break to meet us for dinner or tea. We don’t call his house but the mobile. He never calls from home but from the office. Mom gives him the annual Chinese new year angpao for his two children but we know that he never gives them openly, otherwise his wife will know that he’s been in close contact with us. When my aunt from Melbourne comes back to visit, he also comes to see her in secret.
My best friend’s parents who are separated but not divorced because of the widow left behind by one of the deceased uncle. Her mother refuses to allow the father to get a divorce and so he lives with the widow and daughter, while maintaining pretence of a marriage with the rest of the family.
I’m not even going to go into detail about the two 4- and 5-yr relationships of two couple friends that broke up due to one reason or another.
No. I have no illusions of the perfect marriage, or a marriage that lasts.
I guess there will always be a marriage that doesn’t really last and a marriage that hasn’t worked out a balance and reluctant compromisation somehow. But I don’t know many that boasts of happiness and contentment.
posted by Jennirhiow @ 11:41 pm
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