Saturday, March 19, 2005

Head spinning like a tumbling wash machine

I haven’t been updating properly but speaking in… tongues, riddles, nuances, ‘cos my head’s just spinning and my brain’s just tumbling along. Too many things happening simultaneously.

One.
I was offered the opportunity to take up a course to teach children’s yoga. It was only going to take up 2 weekends (which turned out to be 2 days - Saturday and Sunday) and the certificate was internationally recognized and I would be able to teach in Aussieland when I move.

Problem: It costs RM1200.

It’s not a lot of money compared to many other training programmes I know, but it’s the lump sum that I cannot fork out, and I cannot pay by installments.

Process: I thought it was a good thing, that was worth borrowing money for, ‘cos I would rather teach yoga than to work at McD’s. So I was scrambling around doing that, but I only managed to find 2 people. Yet at the back of my mind, I knew that if I needed to borrow money to do something to allow me to earn some money there, then it wasn’t worth it.

Conclusion: I had left a message online for my best friend to ask her advice, ‘cos she did tell me to inform her when I’m doing things like this; she’s my newly adopted financial advisor. On the second day she frantically called to say that it wasn’t a good idea. And after listening to her explaining, it made sense. After all, I should use my existing skills to earn a living, not go and attain another skill, which might not work. So I have told the lady that I would be taking it up. Haven’t heard from her yet, but I know she’ll be disappointed.

Two.
My best friend came down to help me sort out my finances and to tell me something important. I have homework. Got to find out some stuff to solve my finances. That’s one headache.

Conclusion: I might have to put aside my pride and borrow money from my friend who’s willing to do so with no strings attached. This is nothing immense I know. But it might have to be done. Plus it’s not as if I’m not going to return them the money ever, reasons my best friend. Sigh…

Three.

I feel time drawing closer and closer. Suddenly I felt as if I have no time to settle the work at the magazine just before I leave. Suddenly I felt that I had to work out all the articles till end of the year pronto. Suddenly I felt as though I had left it too long.

So I was doing a flurry of arrangements with my freelancers, to cover the issues till Nov/Dec. I had already decided to leave at the end of August, so if I take my one-month resignation notice into consideration, I don’t have that much time left.

Four.
Because of my finances, I’ve resorted to jumble sales.

I’ve been collecting a lot of media door gifts at home. And when my mom complained about them again, a light bulb suddenly lit up. Hey, why don’t I sell them all?

So I took 3 days to compile them all into a list, and also tested the ‘market’ a little by a few friends if they would be interested in buying the items. I had put them all into 4 categories: Cosmetics, Skincare, Toiletries and Miscellaneous.

Anyone want an Esprit scarf?

So I’ve done up the list and emailed to friends, so that they could help me circulate to their friends.

Five.
Mom has been extremely upset about her new job, ‘cos the management is a dickhead. And so I’ve been spending mornings having breakfast with her for a week now. So I couldn’t go into the office as early as I used to. So my net surfing time has been seriously compromised.

Again it’s the finances that is worrying her. And me. Her job is so horrid that she’s willing to resign this RM1800 job for a simple clinic nurse job at our area that only pays RM600. How desperately can one be?

I tried to reason with her. It’s not that I don’t feel sympathetic towards her situation (the stupid management asked her – a 56 yr old woman – to go to their warehouse and clear out files and documents that are piled high to the ceiling, to move them to another stupid fucking far warehouse, with no intention of hiring movers) at work, but we seriously cannot survive with only RM600 income. That’s too little. She agreed and when we talked about it over the week over breakfast, she’s been calmer and she’s able to logically see that she doesn’t need to resign now, but she can start looking around for another job. The minute she has found a better one, she can leave.

Six.
A lot of strange behavoiurs happening at work. My editor’s behaving strangely. My designer and I can’t explain why. We don’t feel secure working here anymore. And both of us feel that her heart’s not in the job anymore.

The new marketing team is also very unhappy. What’s happening is that they both are doing 3 person’s job on top of their own right now. Seeing them being treated so unfairly makes me angry.

My best friend is also in the same situation, ‘cos two of her exec have resigned and left, and guess who’s told to pick up where they left off?

I’m sick of our companies here. Why are they being so sneaky, by hiring someone to come in to do one scope of work, paid one person’s salary, and then find when they start that they are expected to pick up the other previously resigned person’s job, and the other one, and the other one too? With no added allowances? Don’t they realize that this will make the employee unhappy and eventually resign for a better job?

I’m very pissed with my management right now. Seeing them makes me wanna slap them.


So that’s the whole gist of what’s been keeping me occupied. Sigh… another week, another weekend. This weekend I’m also tied up with a few things; an alumni meet and a gathering by my yoga instructor.
I need a vacation.