Hurt and saddened by accusationI’m saddened by an accusation that happened in my office today.
See, situation is like this…
This morning my Graphic Designer (GD) was in a foul mood, which I heard, was due to a very bad traffic jam. So his face was black, and he snapped at my Marketing Manager (MM), who was only at the wrong place at the wrong time.
This – in my mind – was very rude. This was not the first time that he has been in a foul mood and shown his black face and snapped at people rudely. But even though I have the authority as the Deputy Editor to reprimand him for that, I’ve never exercised that right.
But today I did.
I sent him an email that said very simply and in a very mild and logical tone – I believe – that his attitude towards my MM was rude and that this was not the first time, and that he should just be more aware of how he shows his personal emotions at the workplace and how he talks to higher-ups.
Below is the email that I wrote.
I just want you to know that you were rather rude to MM just now. I know you are in a bad mood, but whatever the reason, especially when it's personal, don't take it out on other people, like the way you responded to her this morning. This is not the first time and I think you should be a bit more aware of the way you handle your emotions, especially with colleagues and your higher-up.
Just be more aware, ok?
And below is the reaction for my efforts in being logical and mild.
I believe that my mood can be obviously tell by judging on my face. I would not simply throw my bad mood to others, when I’m not annoy by anyone. And I believe that u dun quite like (my other colleague), I’m not try to cover my case here. Just dun know whether u realise it or not. So next time just stay away from me when I’m not making any noise early in the morning, ok.
Questions arise when I saw this.
1. What has (my other colleague) got to do with the issue? Why do you say that I don’t like my colleague? Which part of your eye saw this? Hell, I like this person! How can you accuse me of disliking someone that I like!!! And it makes no sense when there is no connection between the issue of you throwing your tantrum and my supposed-dislike of this colleague.
2. It was so obvious that he did ‘throw his bad mood’ at others. He snapped at a superior! Come on. You literally snapped at a superior and ignored the person who was speaking to you. Whatever the reason for your black mood, keep it under control!
3. I didn’t bug him or disturb him or get in his face this morning. My exact words were, ‘Are you alright?’ In a very concerned tone, for which efforts, I got snapped at, too. But I didn’t say anything; one reason being, I’m used to his black moods; a second reason being, Ok, I know you’re not in a good mood, I’ll keep quiet now. Well, since you are like this, then fine! In future, I shall definitely not say anything to show any concern, whatsoever, even when it’s very serious!
I was so hurt. What did I do wrong? Did I do anything wrong? I don’t think so.
But I guess it’s necessary to be hurt in life… After all, what better way to protect oneself in future than to have been hurt before, so that you can better armour yourself against future occurrence?
Well, offended by the email, I replied. But only tomorrow will I see the effect of my 2 emails. Because he had already left the office when I read his reply. So tomorrow he shall read my mail. We shall see.
Come to think of it… this is not the first time I’ve been hurt by showing concern… and those times were also caused by men…