A medley of reflections
Work sucks when you have stupid heads
You know, sometimes you wonder what people have done to become the person they say they are. Like, my marketing manager. I know I’m giving her too much air-time on my blog. But I seriously, seriously, think that she is a poor excuse of a marketing manager.
A society contacted me to propose working together for a different health event-cum-roadshow next year. The great thing about this event would be the affiliation with this society, a government university and the MINISTRY OF HEALTH!
And she turned it down.
Her excuse being, that there wasn’t enough time to plan an event like this, and that we don’t have enough manpower.
Er, excuse me, but it’s for next year April? And we can manage since we are planning this early?
I tell you, it is examples like this you wonder how people like her get to be MANAGER, while people like me are still getting peanuts and holding a lesser title. It doesn’t make sense.Don’t laugh at the people who play silly games at shopping malls…
Because they could be trying to make their child feel more confident and less self-conscious.
I had just interviewed this lady yesterday who had a daughter born with Profound Hearing Loss. This is one strong, noble mother.
To help her daughter seek help, she literally scrambled around and made a fool of herself, to get her daughter to accept her condition and to be confident.
A few times at the shopping centers where there are games and activities held, the typical Malaysian would just stand there and say ‘No’ and laugh at those who participate. She asked her daughter if she wanted to try a game that was catching balls falling from the top in a transparent bubble-cage. The little gurl naturally said no because she was shy and didn’t want people to laugh at her hearing aids. ‘But I’m going to play. You sure you don’t want to play?’ The gurl still refused. So she went and played, alone. The next time they went to the shopping centre, her daughter joined her.
I’m equally guilty of being the typical Malaysian because I’ve seen lots of people who seemingly look silly playing those games and have mocked them in my insensitivity.
I know better now.Really count your blessings, for you do have many
I know that by the time I set foot on Aussie soil, that I will have acknowledge that my migration was made possible by many people, and not just my mom and my relatives for sponsoring me.
I proposed a plan to partially support myself and my family while I’m in Aussieland by contributing Australian articles to the Malaysian mags. To make this work, I also will need to supply pictures, which means I need a digital camera. A digital would now be necessary, it would be part of my bread and butter.
So I started looking around for good, affordable deals. I can’t afford an expensive one.
And naturally I kept my best friend S updated. And she said that I shouldn’t waste money so soon, when I haven’t made any money yet, that she will pass me an old digital camera that belonged to her brother. So happened that she had a conference in KL and so I met up with her to collect it. I said that I would buy it from her, but she refused to tell me the price of the digital, saying that I can pay her later.
Then and there, it struck me that, I would have many people to thank for, for helping me to make this migration come true. And as I sat there looking at her giving me the camera, I was just overwhelmed.
And I could never, never, ever be able to express my gratitude enough to these people who are helping me.I understand
Today I understand something that I didn’t before.
When my sales exec colleague resigned, she kept badgering me to leave as well. But I told her that I wasn’t interested to leave yet, as it was too short of time. I really wanted to stay at least a year in my magazine.
Now that I’m leaving, and I see the way that my heads are treating my graphic designer – like a low-wage labourer – I’m really angry and am striving to get her another job so that she can get out. But she’s not interested. Cos she’s trying to spend at least one year in the magazine. And I was frustrated.
Today I finally understand how my sales exec felt, how my graphic designer feels now.
I've been busy with lots of stuff.
For one, I have to reformat my pc, which was plagued by some stupid spyware and now my display's wonky and there is no soundcard! Argh!
I'm designing my own namecard, which I intend to use when I'm over in Emuland. Getting a friend to draw a cat for me, but only after he's done with his current project. Sigh... so meanwhile, I'm wondering what kind of paper to use, coloured or plain white. Can I get anyone to help me think of some cat designs?? Miaow?
Going to meet up with two editors about me contributing articles for the local mags here while I'm gallivanting in Kangarooland. The money will not be for my expenses over there - it will be for my mom as my household contribution. This foreign correspondant writing is a freelance, part-time thingie. I still have to get a fulltime job! Which is not in sight right now!! *bang head*
I need to think of what books to ship over. Those that I ABSOLUTELY can't live without reading. And I need to pack those that I wanna keep, but to be kept at my best friend's place, cos my mum wants to use the bookshelf for the living room! *sniff*
Damn, I forgot to spread the word around that there will be a room for rent at my place... mom wants to rent out the room to get extra money every month.
I have not seen 90% of the people that I would like to see before I leave. But I have seen one or two... that hardly makes up 10%, I know... trouble is, Monday's the only day that I'm free to make dinner appointments for friends... and I'm dodgy about weekends cos all the malls' packed!
Thought of a book based on me and my brother.... wished I had the time to see it published here before I leave...
Oh dear, I'm late for yoga. Gotta go. Oh, that reminds me... how am I to carry my yoga mat with me to Ostrichland!?!?!
*worried, harried cat*
One for the memory box
I had a good weekend cos I was staying with my best friend. My mom and I figured that we should start to get my brother acquainted with the situation of when I will not be around. To get him used to that feeling. So from time to time I will ‘go away’ to stay with my best friend. Last weekend was the first time.
I stayed Friday night and Saturday night. Saturday saw us going to Midvalley for a short while; she had something to do, so I took myself on a little window shopping, I went to MPH to haunt my fav authors’ aisles, and then treated myself to a nice cup of latte at Delifrance.
After she had done her thing, we met up for lunch. A very healthy one – sandwich shared between us and a detox fruit juice each. Then did some grocery shopping. We went back, lazed around, played with her dog a while, watched her springclean and organize her really messy room, watched the last hour of Femme Fatale
(which was good, I must go get the VCD or DVD) and then had dinner with crab – hmm.
Woke up early on Sunday, grabbed a yogurt before dashing out for yoga. Felt really good. Had a fruit lunch. I must say that weekends are really the only time to eat healthy. And really, I wouldn’t have so fruity a weekend if I had been home. Ah well. I shall introduce it to my family slowly.
All too soon I had to pack up to leave. I didn’t want to move from the sofa, watching my best friend’s family tease the dog mad, and wished that my weekends could be this easy-going and not so tension-fraught. If I were home, I had to watched what I said, what I did or didn’t do. I knew that this was one of those memories that I would keep inside my memory box.
I just came back from a morning event at the Eastin Hotel with my marketing colleague S., where I met E. my ex-colleague who had jumped to a rival magazine doing sales and a fellow writer/editor, LJ, whom I’ve met at a lot of events since I started working at my current company and have become fast friends. We had such a good time, eating and chatting, exchanging info of the industry, sharing past experiences and laughing over jokes. We even lingered over refilled cups of tea, plucking the petals of the red rose on the table. I made a potpourri of rose petals in tea… Poor rose...
We were reluctant to part. It was a good bonding and sharing time. I know I shall always remember the four of us at the table, with torn red rose petals scattered all over, on the table and in tea cups. That’s another one for the memory box.
Got an email from Shu Uemura’s marketing manager that I cannot get a copy of the music played during one of their joint hair/makeup shows early this year. I had fallen in love with the music, which was specially compiled for that event. But the manager said that there was too many red and blue tape to go through to get it for me. Damn… it was good… sigh… another beautiful memory for that box.
I must state something very clearly for the record. I don’t go to concerts. I don’t go to big crowd events if I can help it.
Sarah Brightman and Secret Garden don’t count. They’re in a class of their own.
But I absolutely do not go to those concerts or fan club meetings that young giddy goat gurls love to go to, where they will be screaming their lungs out, and mayhaps, throw their panties and g-strings onto the stage.
Yet for the love (I don’t know what else to call it – it must be love) of a friend, I found myself taking a drive to the train station, parking my car for RM5, and going down to KLCC on LRT, to join those screaming giddy goats.
And during that 35 min ride down to the heart of KL madness, I recalled knowing him, the things that he used to do, the things we used to do together, the things he did that drove me nuts, and the things that we (my best friend and I) did to drive him nuts.
And I planned on embarrassing him on stage. I knew they would have 'Question-and-Answer' sessions, so I prepared the questions in my head.Compere (C): So, what question would you like to ask Bachelor No.13?
Me: Well, it’s a two-tiered question: First, what is your ideal gurl of your dreams, and second, if your mother and your dreamgurl were drowning, who would you save first?
C: Now that’s a tough one, which do you think he’ll say he’d save?
Me: Well, back in the old days when we first talked about it, he said that he would save his gurlfren.
C: Really? Would it be different this time?
Me: I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.
C: But surely you have an idea who he would save?
Me: I wouldn’t dare presume what he will do, cos he can be pretty unpredictable and contradictory.
C: What else can you tell the public about Bachelor No.13? Tell them why they should vote him.
Me: Ok. You know how guys hate to be around gurls who cry?
C: Yes, I do.
Me: Well, he not only was there, but he stuck around. It happened in Perth when we were there for our final year of uni. At night we used to sit around and talk and really get to know each other then. You really get to know each other then, cos that’s when you see the good and bad.
And one night, (my best friend and I shared a room) we started talking about our family. I think it started out with why we didn’t miss family as much as he did. Then we both told him about our background. And we really told him everything, especially the bad stuff. We started crying cos we were so emotional. And we were bawling. And he stood there, looking at us with this look on his face, and then he went and sat next to my best friend, and put an arm around her.
Even as I was crying, I realized all this at the back of my mind, and noted that while he looked absolutely terrified to be there with us crying, he remained and sought to console us. At the back of my mind, I was laughing because here was a guy, who wanted to bolt and looked it, yet stayed behind.
And when he turned to console me next, then and there, I knew that this was a gem to keep for life. I knew that this was a guy who would endeavour to help, with all his might, with all his generous heart, if he could.
C: Does this guy have any flaws at all?
Me: Of course! No one’s perfect! He can be irritating at times.
C: Give me an example.
Me: Oh dear… so many…. (laugh) Well, nobody’s perfect, he’s just a little too paranoid for my liking. He used to bug us about timing, assignments, and such. But what really irritated us then was that he would put his gurlfren on top of the list, I mean, give her absolute priority, and conveniently forget about everyone else!
C: That’s not a flaw.
Me: I guess so, but sometimes that attitude would drive us friends nuts…
C: Ok, last comment. What reason would you give the public to vote him?
Me: If you are down, you can always call him, even at 3am…
Me: Yes, his mobile is on 24 hours. But I’ve never called him at that ungodly hour before. I’m afraid he would kill me. But my one fond experience is this, I called him one evening in a very down mood, just to chat with him. Though I never told him what bothered me, he knew I was very down. And so during the whole phone call he made stupid jokes and crazy comments. I never laughed so much. We didn’t ‘talk’ - he was making jokes, I was laughing. I went to bed smiling. The next morning my mom looked at me funny. She asked if I was okay. I asked her why. She said that I was laughing in my sleep.
I love you, Ju
. I don’t know if you’ll win the award, but to me, you have been, and always will be, The Most Eligible Bachelor, in my heart. Always.
Wet Monday morning
This morning was a really wet, wet morning… while I was pleased with the rain, I was sad. There was this poignant ache inside of me that begged to be soothed… but I knew no way to soothe it…
If I could, if I had a convertible, I would leave the top off and drive down the endless highway to nowhere… while it rained, while my heart cried…
I had a vision of myself… stopping the car by a field and running through the grass, with no care or thought of anything or anyone… there may be a war behind me, there may be people shouting my name, but I would not hear a thing…
All I would hear, would be the pounding of my heart in my ears, the thundering of blood racing in my veins, the clamouring of voices screaming to be set free in my mind…
Black Monday? Blue Monday? No……..
It was a sad, beautiful Monday that cried and cried and I struggled not to cry with it.
In the end, the pounding could not be repelled, the thundering could not be gentled, the clamouring could not be silenced…
And still I yearn to kiss the rain…
Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?
Take the quiz: "Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?"
You are wild,crazy,exotic, and love to wear as little as possible!
er...... ....... OK!!! *BIG GRIN*
Viva Cleo Bachelor 2005!
I've been all excited about this but have forgotten to blog about it!!
is one of the contestants for the Cleo Bachelor 2005
award this year! And I'm just so excited for him, proud of him and am so rooting for him.
I've been sms-ing like crazy. For all the titles. 'Too Cool', 'Street Smart', 'True Blue Adverturer', 'Most Likely To Melt Your Heart'....
This Saturday they will be appearing before all the voters at KLCC.
The sad thing is I will have to compete with all the other screaming giddy goat gurls.... damn.... I feel so old....
But I'm goin.... because this is a friend, whom you will want on your 'Good Friend'
Today's really not a good day...
I don't usually have Monday blues. Don't believe in them cos any day can be blue, in my opinion. You've never heard of Tuesday blues, Wednesday blues, or Thursday blues now have you? Makes no sense.
But today I feel it.
I don't know if it's because I'm feeling the sad vibes from all over the world over the Pope's passing, or it's that work is really becoming meaningless to me.
I've had comments from the Wanderer who said I should tell my company that I am leaving the country because I'm migrating.
My mom said that they don't need to know that, just tell them that I'm going to further my studies, which is true, when I've saved enough I will continue to do Masters.
My best friend A. is of two minds - doesn't really matter.
My best friend S. agreed that they don't need to know.
Today, I finally decide what I'm gonna say.
I'm gonna list down all the things they did wrong, all the things they should have done but didn't, all the stupid things they have done but shouldn't do.
I'm going to make them totally aware that I'm leaving because of the shitty things they did. Make them put up their pillows higher to think deep into the night. Make them wonder if they are really that hated outside. Make them second-guess their actions and consequences.
Gee, does that constitute burning bridges?
Ok... need to consult senior writer...